I’m just a middled aged woman who has been encouraged to write a blog. Maybe it’s because I’m a psychotherapist who is also a human living with Multiple Sclerosis who understands the need for allowing people to be who they are, to hold space for the pain of being a human, for knowing how to empower people to accept ALL of themselves and to exist in this life that is both awe-inspiring and hard as hell.

I am not one to offer ridiculous sentiments of toxic positivity -more on the harm of that later.

I am a wife, a mom, a daughter who lost her own mom to cancer and who has an amazing father, a member of a lovely family, a friend, a patient and so much more. I am learning what it’s like to live with an unpredictable chronic illness – lots of cussing,  anger, and sadness-  basically grieving my old self AND making peace with my new one.

I am naturally introverted and quite friendly and warm. Meaningful and personal one-on-one conversations are one of my favorite things. And Hugs.

I am a seeker of knowledge and an avid reader of books. And also a binger of Netflix- Thanks MS for requiring me to rest so damn much.

I am a lover of physical movement of all kinds- depending on what my body needs each day. Again-  thanks MS for forcing me to listen to my body.  

I have the privilege of listening to people’s stories and holding space for their struggles. Even though I’m the “mental health expert”- I also know that I am not an expert on anyone else’s lived experience. Most humans have the capacity to be their own experts when given permission and skills to do so. I am a firm believer that not everything happens for a reason, that mystery exists and sometimes things just suck and we won’t experience true understanding AND that is ok AND deeply frustrating.  The human experience is quite challenging and sometimes full of emotional anguish and physical distress AND sometimes so beautiful and filled with moments of pure connection and joy and peacefulness- much  like parenting…

I believe in the power of using the word AND- most things are not black and white-  perspective is EVERYTHING and embracing the word AND is a gift that keeps on giving.

17 thoughts on “

  1. I thought you did a wonderful job of expressing yourself—-always one of your best talents—-along with listening. Your mother would be so proud os you, Melissa, as she always was.

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  2. Melissa this is a terrific glimpse into your most complex life .
    Each reader will take from it according to their own needs. I anticipate your next outreach and urge your continuous of your writing.

    Hi to Roy

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  3. Melissa you did a great job on this post. Life has no instuctions on life. We try to plan for the future then life happens, love, struggles, death etc. Please keep blogging you need a outlet a way to vent. Listening to others problems all day could not do it. Prayers are with you and your family.
    Keep it up.

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  4. (To identify myself, I am the Mother/In-law/Grandmother of one of Roy’s neighbors. I copied my response to his FB post that included the link to your blog)

    “Not that familiar with blogs, but I did like your daughter’s immensely! I’ve seen many of your family posts and photos; and although I don’t know them, have enjoyed your pride in their accomplishments, and activities. Guess it is sort of a second-hand acquaintance from afar! As a Mother, Grandmother, and Sister, I understand and appreciate our sharing of the ones we love. Roy, I hope she will continue her blog, because it seems to be a good outlet of expression. I will respond with a brief statement to her also. Take Care Roy, and Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukah to you and yours!”

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  5. (To identify myself, I am the Mother/In-law/ Grandmother to one of Roy’s neighbors, and this is my response to his FB post.)

    “Not that familiar with blogs, but I did like your daughter’s immensely! I’ve seen many of your family posts and photos; and although I don’t know them, have enjoyed your pride in their accomplishments, and activities. Guess it is sort of a second-hand acquaintance from afar! As a Mother, Grandmother, and Sister, I understand and appreciate our sharing of the ones we love. Roy, I hope she will continue her blog, because it seems to be a good outlet of expression. I will respond with a brief statement to her also. Take Care Roy, and Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukah to you and yours!”

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  6. Melissa, you have a gift of expressing your thoughts. I hope you will continue to “blog” AND journal. We all gleam something from your words.

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